Radicchio, Apple, Fennel and Walnut Salad With an Apple Cider Vinegar Honey Mustard Vinaigrette

Food as Meditation and So Many Other Things.

Raise your hand if you are really pleased to be back into some kind of daily routine.

I know I am.

I am enjoying the silence, eating alone, and having the space to think, plan and plot. What I want 2025 to look like and what shape I would like my life to take moving forward is weighing heavily on my mind.

I know that there is a lot of loneliness in this world, and that there are many people who are eating alone and who don’t necessarily want to be in this position.

I know.

I used to hate being alone, I feared it, but today I love it - maybe I can embrace being alone because I know I have the choice. I know that someday I may not, and in this someday I might come to fear this feeling again.

The piece you are reading here was not meant to exist. I was actually working on something else, but then I felt inspired as I pondered the light green burgundy-speckled feathers of my favourite leaves.

This meditation of eating alone over the past few days, if you embrace it as such, had me reflecting on the many times that I ate alone in secret consuming food to hurt instead of heal. I thought about how far I have come.

The buried memories of the disordered eating that began when I was a child worsening in degrees as I grew through my mid-teens and into my early twenties opened in my mind with the scent of mustard that rose from my plate. I believe that certain memories rise to the top like cream as part of our evolution so that they can be acknowledged, observed and then released into the wind like the balloons that used to escape from our wrists.

Today I know that I ate to soothe my pain. I ate because I was bored. I ate because food kept me company.

Food as meditation.

As I stared into the leaves, I reflected on the times when I would sneak a gallon of corn-syrup-laced ice cream from the fridge to consume in my purple bedroom on the floor, with my back against the door or steal money from my mother’s wallet so that I could buy Snickers bars, penny candy, and Doritos. I thought about that summer when we were gifted wholesale bags of oily but oh-so-very light Cape Cod potato chips. Apart from a few weeks at summer camp, I spent too many afternoons binging those crisps together with endless music videos on MTV (an unintentional education). The texture, the sound, the salt on my fingers..…

Food as reflection.

Today, I know these chemical-laden products that pass as food are designed to produce a dopamine hit that leaves you wanting more. The same processed food that is responsible for our global obesity and chronic disease epidemics. Their advertisements designed and targeted to produce the successful sales that rely on children who stare mindlessly into screens.

Food as a drug.

Food as knowledge.

Food as power.

I know the 'What I learned in Italy’ trope (if that is the right word for it) is boring and I am not here to ‘monetize my trauma’, no I am not, but I like to give credit where credit is due. Italy has saved me more than once in so many ways. To Italy I owe my life. She helped me to see and understand

Food as love.

Food as a revelation.

I know that I am so not alone when I say that I have struggled with food and weight management for my entire life, but the ‘healthier’ and incredibly indulgent relationship with food that I developed through assimilation here in Italy set me free.

Anyone who knows me knows that I am borderline obsessed with food. I guess that’s why we are here and why I find myself so at home in these borders. Food is also at the forefront of most Italian minds as they go through their days (it was once this way for all of us as a necessary means for survival) so you find yourself in good company when you step outside of your front door. This is probably why this country is such a magnet for like-minded people. It is probably why so many people gravitate to the endless world of this cuisine. This might explain the global success of the Mediterranean Diet.

Food as self-care.

Maybe you have struggled with these extremely common issues (cut to the iconic scene of Miranda from Sex and The City eating cake from the trash). Maybe you are also in the process of overcoming them. Maybe these are the struggles of someone you love.

2024 was a year of growth and healing for me and in this process, I learned that sometimes we have to lean into the pain, trauma and fear to heal. Sometimes we have to lean into the harshness of the winters of our lives to truly appreciate their function and beauty.

I always give thanks for what I have been through because I truly believe that the pain we endure (relative to our own experience) transforms into the empathy that helps us to understand and connect with other human beings.

Food as connection.

During the past year, food was once again transformed from a source of pain, guilt, soothing, and shame to one of nutrition, health, pleasure, intuitive eating and acceptance. This lifted an incredible weight from my being. As a result, the padding that I built around my body to protect me from a good handful of very stressful years slowly started to melt away.

As I closed the mediation of my plate, in the changing shapes of filtered sunlight, I thought about how good it feels to finally sit in silence as a choice to consume

Food as a source of healing.

If you are reading this, and food has been a source of struggle and pain in your life, I pray that food can be transformed into a source of healing for you as well.

This is my continued wish for the world in 2025: That we may face into the light to fully embrace the universal healing power of good food.

Back in December, I wrote a piece celebrating radicchio. Then as we were easing into January, Sarah May Grunwald @

Contadina

posted a photo of her homegrown radicchio salad to remind us that radicchio salads are still and will continue to be a good idea throughout the winter. That photo inspired my notion for this salad, which in turn inspired the words and thoughts found here.

As we move into 2025, I just wanted to say that I really enjoy writing here on Substack. I know it has its ups and downs, but I like the energy of this space, and I am delighted to be in the company of so many like-minded individuals who inspire me every day.

Thank you to those of you who take the time to follow my writing. I am honoured that you take the time to read these words.

Food as inspiration.

To close I would like to say that I find January eating to be a bit of a paradox. After the holidays we are craving food that is cleansing and light and they show up for us in the form of winter greens. At the same time, the colder climate that we are experiencing in the Northern Hemisphere also has us craving food that is comforting. This salad is more on the cleansing side, but shortly I will share another recipe that I have been enjoying this week which is both light and comforting at the same time.

So yes, here we are with another radicchio salad:

The freshly washed leaves of ‘Radicchio variegato di Castelfranco’ resting in my bowl welcomed toasted walnuts and the generous shavings of apple and fennel that support gastrointestinal health. Fennel contains beta-carotene and Vitamin C which are nutrients that contribute to collagen production and tissue repair. My body really loves fennel and yours might too.

I enjoyed this vegan version on day one and on day two I added a good amount of lactose-free crumbled feta. This makes for a better salad, but I am biased due to my aforementioned feta problem. I also enjoy naturally lactose-free Gorgonzola DOP on my radicchio salads from time to time.

The naturally gluten-free vegan base of this salad is a no-recipe recipe. The amounts and portions are up to you.

The vinaigrette, which makes enough for two can be stored in the fridge for a few days:

2 shots of extra-virgin olive oil

1 shot of apple cider vinegar (my go-to vinegar)

1 generous teaspoon of wholegrain mustard

1 generous teaspoon of runny local honey

A good pinch of sea salt and some freshly ground black pepper

A tablespoon or so of finely minced shallot is good here as well

Shake it vigorously in a jar until it emulsifies.

Don’t forget your mandoline slicer (mind those fingers) and salad spinner for quick and easy salad preparation.

Food as convenience!

In the meantime, I’ll be thinking about what kind of interesting combo next week’s salad might bring.